We've been fooled. The year doesn't actually start on January 1st.

4 Simple ideas to start 2024 stress free

Mid-winter is just a few days behind us and we’re told to act like we’re a new person now that we entered 2024. We are made to think anything is possible in the new year and that if we were to set the goal to cross the Alps we could start the hike without any equipment, training or planning. Full of excitement, we run up the first steep hill, one second after having woken up on January 1st... With snow in our slippers, sweaty, tired and hungry, (given we didn’t have breakfast and are still dressed in PJs) we now need to rest and find the right trail (no map packed…). Why?

Having big bold plans without a strong, nourishing foundation, aka spring energy, the mental, physical and emotional capacity to act on all New Year's goals is like wanting to cross the Alps without thinking about when to go, what to take, how to dress etc.

Sadly setting goals this way means only 23% of people can sustain their goals for the first week, and 43% aren’t able to keep the goals alive beyond the first month, with only 8% reaching their target altogether, research shows. This would be seriously concerning if we hiked across the Alps in a group and lost most of our fellow humans along the way. Barely anyone would be able to enjoy pizza and ice cream on the Italian side.

Can we have more grace for ourselves and take a human heart-centred approach? 

We behave like we’re an old-fashioned business, not a human being.

Setting goals with Executives in my tech job at a global Silicone Valley tech company taught me a lot. My role is to help companies thrive by changing the way they work and collaborate. I help teams plan better, execute with ease and achieve their goals without wasting time, and resources and most importantly, without burning out from constant overwhelmed.

I enjoy my work and know I have positively impacted thousands of employees. I learned that we need to have the right systems, not just ambitious goals, a vision, clever minds, and strong bodies. And this applies to our personal lives too. 

We need the right systems for our human bodies, minds, hearts and souls to thrive.

Annual goal setting on a personal level at this time of the year is a form of forcing ourselves into the system of the male, structured, linear business world of doing things.

In fact, the start of the new year on the 1st of January was a decision based on a Roman emperor's war strategy. You can do a fun Google search, consult some public resources like this one or read about it in

Kat River

’s truly wonderful post here. Spoiler: Great Britain and its American colonies did not adopt the Gregorian calendar until 1752. Before then, they celebrated New Year’s Day on March 25 (around the spring equinox) just like many peoples did for centuries.

As humans, and especially women, we do not need to follow these trends, recommendations and the “it’s just done this way” approach.

We can free ourselves from all of this, have our own beginning of the year a few weeks later or return to old ways of looking at the calendar, whatever perspective we prefer. Just like companies set Fiscal Years based on their business or industry needs, we can choose to not go all in right now and wait for nature to come back to life, the days to get longer and warmer and for our winter tiredness to turn into spring excitement. 

Cherishing the in-between season

I experienced the transition from the holidays to the new year differently growing up. When I was younger, our Christmas tree was up until way into January, with candles still lit daily, we would sing songs, and enjoy the cosy winter nights as a family. Just because we entered a new calendar year didn’t mean we would get rid of everything old and start on a clear and clean canvas on January 1st.

Traditionally in our region in the south of Germany, Christmas decorations, trees and lights were up until the beginning of February (Candlemass / Imbolg) when the winter and Christmas seasons were officially seen as over.) Nowadays, I find it hard to get rid of my garlands and wreaths any earlier (I do not have a tree) and embrace winter for a bit longer without needing to reinvent myself right away. I have time. We have time. Despite everyone telling us otherwise.

I believe we are doomed to fail (whatever that may mean) if we act like we are a new person with a different mental, physical and emotional capacity on January 1st. We are only one day older, and maybe a tiny bit wiser. Nothing else changed.

Realistic is to stay in tune with nature, our outer rhythm as well as our inner needs. 

My stress-free and gentle rituals for the start of 2024

What I would like to say first: I am not here to teach or tell you what to do. I am here to take you by your hand if you wish to take mine and be witnessed on your journey home to your own knowing, wisdom and trust.

• Dreaming: instead of goal setting in January. Dream about your wishes for your 2024. Last year I wrote these intentions on a paper and more tangible goals only in early February as that’s when I slowly had more energy again. That’s when farmers and those lucky with gardens start seeding ideas, making plans for planting and preparing for spring and summer.
  If you run a business or have a job that requires you to return to full energy on January 2nd, can you be gentle with yourself throughout January so you can honour your continuous need for more sleep and rest? I consciously didn’t schedule any large presentations or exhausting travels for example. 

• Reflection: Write a letter to yourself, your current or future self, your creativity, your womb, your writer self, your mama self, your artist self, your CEO self. Whichever part of you that needs love, attention and the nourishment of your own words.
  Write in candlelight, drop some essential oils on the letter before sealing the envelope to keep and open on a specific day of your choice around this time in a year.
  I previously enjoyed writing about wishes, dreams, hopes, current heartache, and worries. I wrote about what I hope for my future self….Trust your pen to guide you.

• Inspiration: Write 12 short letters, one for each month. Could be with a theme, a topic, a feeling, a self-care suggestion (idea: book yourself a massage this month, it’s on me your past self or schedule time for a walk alone), or a surprise for someone else (idea: send a postcard or text message to say how much you appreciate someone who you haven’t spoken with in a while).
  I have done this in various forms over the years and always loved the guidance and intention I had given myself. At the same time, things shift and change so I felt like I could also skip things if they did not feel right anymore.

• Trust: yourself, your needs, and your ideas. Rituals are a great way to connect with ourselves, and there are many wonderful books, podcasts and blog posts. However, what do you need right now, how can you change and adapt things so they work for you and are not another person’s definition of what you would like to create? How can you make what I’ve written your own? Trust the season you’re in. Trust that we don’t need to rush goals right now.

Writing this letter on a casual evening some call and celebrate as New Year’s Eve… I’ll start the year slowly, full of (self-)compassion for myself and others, for those who set goals, for those who dream in these long winter nights, for those who beat themselves up and for those who want to start differently and try something new.

If you wish to start 2024 on a journey inward and away from the noisy world of Instagram, reach out to

Lauren Barber

, comment below or on this post. Her wonderful idea was to stay off Instagram for January and support each other in a nourishing WhatsApp community. Will I see you there?

If you wish to read about Alternative New Year Goals enjoy ← this one by

Rachel Katz

I only recently came across Rachel and love that we have a similar tech industry background.

2024: My Substack will be entering a new phase. Without the New Year new me energy of course. With gradual shifts into the direction I’ve been dreaming of going: a stronger Village focus, co-creation, facilitation, weaving business, people, rest, nature and well-being together. I will also be renaming this publication.

See you soon 👋 In case you missed some of my most recent letters…