7 Reflections on 16 years of writing a newsletter & blog

On Rejection. Money. Passion. Story telling. What I wish someone had told my younger self.

Hello and a warm welcome to a letter I wrote for you and my younger self! Do you find yourself in the voice note camp, or do you lean towards the art of texting regardless of the occasion? There may be a rare few who don’t find listening back to their recorded voice cringe. Good for them! Personally, I'm not among them. Perhaps that's why I've been drawn to writing. For 16 years, I've been articulating my thoughts aloud, writing within the public gaze since the tender age of 15. More than half of my life.

Whether you're a reader, a writer, a teacher, a corporate employee, an artist, a doctor, or a parent… we're all engaged in the dance of creation and reception in various facets of life. The themes I explore here today are universal, I hope, touching on aspects of judgment, rejection, empowerment, and support. (karma points if you can find the longst German word I have “hidden” below?)
Grab a cup of tea, light a candle, and get cosy.

What we’ll chat about

I’ve been reflecting on my writing odyssey a lot lately and the lessons I learned, what I wish someone had told me earlier and what I hope helps you in daily life all while putting ourselves out there. We’ll cover:

• 1. Confidence, baby?

• 2. Community over catchy titles and fast food content

• 3. Good stories over good grammar

• 4. Real-life over theoretical concepts  

• VISUALS, no GIFs, please

• 6. Wise guru vs relatable fellow student of life

• 7. Earning money vs creating for free 

If you read this in your emails, you may want to open it on the browser because the letter may be cut due to its length in your email app.

Just to get things right. I haven’t been consistently writing publicly for 16 years.

I wish. If I had been consistent, life would likely look different because consistency pays off, ALWAYS. Why wasn’t I consistent then? A full life. Priorities. Also, I’m a recovering perfectionist and people pleaser. I haven’t been consistent with many things in life that require me to be seen.

A quick recap of these 16 years

I’m 31 old now and I sent out the first newsletter as a 15-year-old while spending 6 months in Australia.

It was 2006 when I created my first Gmail account and a few months later Facebook profile. I wrote real paper letters, postcards, and in addition emails to my friends and family. The wider school community back home in Germany received my letters through the school magazine at the time. My dad kept a copy and I still blush to this day when I look back at the unedited version of my published words. How come no one said anything? Why did no one edit my writing before sending it to hundreds of families? It was indeed very raw and very real. Me.

Since then, I wrote mass emails from my travel destinations to my network, set up a blog and took it down again during my studies. I wrote guest posts for leading organisations, had to hit sent to get words out to hundreds of thousands of subs at a job, and played with LinkedIn, writing on and Facebook-“blogging”. I have a hate-love-hate relationship with Instagram. I wrote courses, and handbooks and worked in various teaching in academia and customer-facing roles in the Non-Profit and Tech Sectors all requiring me to master my writing and be okay with daily rejection. I often feared attention. I wanted to be perfect. Oh, what an impossible quest. I’m still unlearning these.

What brought me to Substack?

I joined Substack over 3.5 years ago when barely anyone knew it existed. It’s a wonderful combination of blog, email, and community platform: a space which supports writers and creatives without adverts and capitalistic algorithms (thank you

Lauren Barber

) and gives readers a great experience, too. I believe blogs and newsletters are finding a return to our hearts. Thanks to this platform, people enjoy the longer, slower content in a TikTok dance content culture more and more again. We don’t need to compromise on the fun and get a better experience than WordPress on top. Great! So, during lockdown, my boyfriend, who is part of the Silicon Valley Tech bubble in London, encouraged me to put myself out there again, document my learnings and ideas, write on Substack and stay consistent, finally. Ha! I wasn’t, I couldn’t. And yet:

Here’s what I wish someone had whispered in my ear repeatedly over 16 years — a gentle reminder during moments of self-doubt, surrender, and new beginnings.

These points are not Substack specific, on purpose. If you want me to reflect on 3.5 years of writing on here, let me know in the comments and I’ll write a reflective piece.

1. Confidence, baby?

We don’t need to be confident, we don’t need to have a thick skin. We don’t need to shout from the rooftops. I consider myself an extroverted introvert. I need my alone time, thinking time, and creative time to go out again into the world later. And yet, I am a natural community builder, I get along with most people, and I can make pretty decent small talk. To be honest, I think it’s a waste of time it’s not part of the German culture like it is of the British.

I rather have deep conversations away from the noise in a cosy cafe. I have spoken in front of over 100 people, and written to thousands and thousands of people. My focus: Building an authentic community I can trust, because it boosts my confidence and investing time in my well-being practice to nourish my nervous system. Knowing I’m held, seen and appreciated for who I am is calming my rejection anxiety and fear of mistakes. It helps me slowly, step by step, release the need to be perfect. No one can be, anyway, we’re all human.

@wordsarevibrations on Instagram

2. Community over catchy titles & fast-food content

Titles are key, yes, they make people click or delete the Email. That’s a basic fact everyone in a customer-facing or marketing job learns eventually. But if you’re not that creative at writing titles that pull people in (or can’t get to the point like me with a German brain), a community of supporters are willing to share good writing either way. The words will spread like wildfire, even without a clickbait title.

Writing shouldn’t be fast food, at least not mine. It should be savoured and enjoyed like a cookie dipped into a cup of tea or warm milk. 

Study titles for fun. I try to learn and get inspired. So here are a few who mastered the title game: I love

Kat River

and Kimia from

Ruminations

incredible storytelling, strong community and titles that are on fire.

Elin Petronella

‘s

Kate Eskuri, DNP

and

Stacey Langford

’s titles are always so straight to the point, they get me curious every time.

@maxfromtax on Instagram

3. Good stories over good grammar

I’m not an English native speaker. I still make mistakes and yet I find it easier to express myself in English than in German, words feel less stale somehow. Of course, it means my vocabulary is likely limited compared to an English native speaker with the same level of education. Of course, it means my tired brain is more prone to mistakes.

Listen, younger self, fellow writers of all backgrounds and those writing Emails, LinkedIn posts, presentations or anything in public: Grammar and spelling mistakes don’t matter as much when the story pulls the reader in.

When the message is clear and true value is shared. This applies to anyone, in any language, at any skill level. Yes, I may occasionally rant and not get to the point, and yes I may occasionally write sentences in English that are far too long because that’s what we can do in German without issues. Sentences that are half a page long? Not an issue for me. 🤭 Don’t ask me how to manage your inhales and exhales when reading such sentences out loud. I have no clue. If you want to understand my brain better, check out the longest German word: Donaudampfschiffahrtselektrizitätenhauptbetriebswerkbauunterbeamtengesellschaft

So despite writing publicly for 16 years, I haven’t mastered grammar, spelling and typing. And focus on the stories instead.

Screenshot from May 2020. Source: unknown.

4. Real-life over theoretical concepts   

There are great philosophies, rules, theories, and concepts out there but they feel stale in isolation. Life fully lived is what’s relatable and applicable.

Dry but wise words sound good but evaporate quickly. In a world of fast content people won’t remember most things. However, anecdotes, colourful stories and thought-provoking opinions bring smiles to our faces and can stay with us forever.

Think of your time at school and your most hated subject. Mine was maths. I had some bad teachers and one telling me “Carmen, you won’t ever get this.” Some teachers can make it so dry and boring, that you fall asleep at best or develop a real subject aversion at worst. I chose my university based on the fact that I didn’t have to do statistics. Isn’t that sad?

In the business world, some managers present numbers without good storytelling. Everyone starts dreaming of their dinner, next holiday or other tasks instead of listening in the meeting.

And I believe that customers buy stories, not stats, customers want to feel understood, they are emotional, they buy based on a feeling, not theory. Readers are similar, so please dear younger self, make your writing more fun and engaging!

5. VISUALS, visuals, no GIFs, please

This is a selfish thought. I’m a visual learner, I want visuals to break up the written content. No, I don’t talk about children’s books. I will just never touch a single recipe in a cookbook that comes without exact images of the dishes. Like what’s the point? I can’t imagine something I’ve never seen or eaten before, how should I decide if I want to cook it? Who agrees with me here?

The same applies to writing in public (newsletters and blogs). I want images or some visuals for titles, buttons, and page breaks. And no, NO GIFs.

Please no GIFs.

I hate GIFs. I don’t understand GIFs. I get an aversion to the written content when I see GIFs in it. I know this is not fair on the writer, I just don’t find GIFs aesthetically pleasing, mentally stimulating useful, cool or funny in any way. How many times did I say GIF here? Too many times for someone who hates them 😂

For visuals, though, I’d love to say that I know how to edit them well, apply hip filters, and make them look pretty. Polished. Clean. In reality, I have zero patience for settings of any kind. I get frustrated within seconds. Give me good filters that don’t look like bad Instagram filters from 10 years ago that I can apply in one click or leave me alone. In the meantime. I’ll be sharing the real, raw reality of imperfection. Unedited. 

I love

Hunter Burgtorf

Claudia Wilde

Eva-Maria Smith

and

Sarah Robertson

‘s beautifully edited images, always. I wish I had the skills, patience, and Apps to get the same results. Because I don’t, I appreciate theirs so much. every. single. time. For great templates, I love

Sara Tasker - Me & Orla

and

Keeley Rees

Canva downloads.

Colours, flowers. Little joys on the side of the road.

6. Wise guru vs relatable fellow student of life

I want to learn with you, not look up to a guru. At least I am allergic to weird structures or toxic confidence which means someone is celebrated as the know-it-all and the rest has imposter syndrome or follow blindly. No, I want to learn with you, alongside and from you. I want to see mistakes and learnings. I don’t want to see shiny outcomes, glorious thinking or fantastic stats alone.

I want to see pictures from all the base camps, aka stories from the final stretch and not just a selfy from the top of Kilimanjaro. In today’s world, such a selfie could just be created by AI. But the story from the way up can’t be replicated easily, it’s unique it’s yours. 

Words matter. Tone matters. Inclusivity is key. It’s a dance with the other not a me vs you, I lecture and you listen type of energy that I want to see.

I love co-facilitation for this reason, with real relatable examples so people won’t switch off. Maybe it’s just personal? I for sure can see the impact and think as facilitators of any kind we carry the responsibility to engage, make relatable and not speak down and think we know better just because we’re a subject matter “expert”. Let’s always encourage open dialogue, exchange, questions and learning. There’s rarely ever just one right answer, one perspective and one truth.

Pull others up, be genuine, be nice. It’s lonely alone at the top so remember where you started. Give everyone a chance to get to your level because from the top you can’t always see everything.  

7. Earning money vs creating for free 

I’m sorry for those with money trauma, I still have some weird stories in my head I‘m working through, but I’m finding it easier to receive money for my work compared to the past. I go to work to make a living, I enjoy earning money nowadays instead of rejecting money and seeing it as the source of all evil in this world.

I enjoy making money, I enjoy offering my services, time and brain for money and occasionally also Honey, a self-baked cake or a good book in exchange. It all depends.

Yes, I love my job not just for the money, of course. But this point here is about money. Money and creative expression. So please hear me out.  

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to write with money in mind. There’s nothing wrong with creating art to make money off of it.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to not pay for the content we read. I don’t want to pay everyone for every single word. I can’t support everyone financially.

I personally don’t make any money off my writing right now, because it’s not my bread-and-butter job. I wouldn’t mind earning money that way as a side income and you can gift me a monthly subscription cheaper than your local coffee or matcha latte per month to support my work. For the next 6 months, all money from subscriptions will go to a charity instead.

I haven’t fully figured the setup out and don’t want to apply a paywall at this point so my content is free. I write because I feel like I can add value to others and get the feedback that I do. I write for the sake of my mental health. Creative expression is my medicine. I enjoy writing, putting thoughts on paper and making sense of the chaos in my head.

I wholeheartedly support others who have a paywall. I have paid Substack subscriptions for people like

Kat River

,

Claudia Wilde

,

Hunter Burgtorf

,

Sarah Robertson

Claire Venus

,

Kaya

the

The Substack Soirée

. I pay for those I want to read more from. Those I see talent in, those whose writing is a balm for my soul, and those who make me question my status quo.

We don’t want to starve artists, creatives, writers and community builders in this world. We want to make sure they thrive because society needs their work like at no other time in the past.

We all need to be reminded of our inner creative and the playground she/he need to not turn into a stale and grey boring human. 

Time to reflect, join me!

What makes your inner fire burn? What makes you want to create? What makes you want to step out of your comfort zone for fun or maybe to start earning a side income with it? What would you tell your brave younger self and inner critic?

We live in a world where portfolio careers are becoming more mainstream. A world where people who have multiple streams of income are celebrated and not seen as “trying to get by because they can’t get a proper job”. A world where people create and connect in new ways. Where the community is at the heart, like it used to be. I’m all here for it and believe that

Substack

is an incredible platform for facilitating this reorientation of how we read, write and live.

Oh, by the way, I told myself to write this down and leave it mostly unedited. Sick in bed with a cough, was tired, passionate and real. Ready for rejection, love and everything in between. As long as you’re kind, all thoughts are welcome! 🫶

Please join the community, subscribe, leave a comment, share your perspective, share this post with others, or write a referral. It means the world to me to have you here, spending your sacred time reading to the end.