For all perfectionist

I see you 🫶

I was 14 years old, in year nine in the German schooling system, when we did a four-month-long art project (see above). I have always loved art and design and would say I was and still am in that group of people who can pick up any creative medium and it turns out (most often) quite pleasantly. I have, however, never been a true natural talent, the cool kid everyone admires.

I wanted to be perfect and do everything perfectly as a teenager, which taught me a few things in adulthood, things I’m sure are relatable.

But back to year nine for a moment…

That four-month art project took me eight months to complete. I had to work on it during my Christmas holidays and finish it during spring break, spending multiple hours per day on it at home while my friends were able to hang out and my family enjoyed the snow and, later, the first warm rays of sunshine.

My art project turned out amazing, but my 14-year-old self saw endless tiny flaws compared to the most talented girls in my class.

You see, I wasn’t envious, but I knew I could have done better, had I had more time. 

But was that really necessary?

Should I have invested more time? How much even is more time?

My art teacher at the time pointed at my perfectionism in my annual review. She criticised my poor time management (alongside chattiness haha). I should have „balanced my efforts more.“

Truthfully, with some more perspective, I don’t believe in balance in most areas of life nowadays. Everything fluctuates but exact balance is not achievable and just a mental stressor if we strive for it. What I do believe, however, is that we can take energy, mental capacity or even money from some areas and spend it on others, shifting focus under the definition of what is good (enough). 

14-year-old me wasn’t able to see that and maybe didn’t feel able to declare a in her eyes not-perfect piece of art as complete.

The thing is, at the time no one had conversations with me about what even is perfect, what is good and what is bad, what is worth striving for and what isn’t. 

Thinking about it now

I’m not aware of standardised definitions of good and bad, perfect and imperfect and enough. There are morals and cultural preferences for what is desirable or not, sure. But the rest, is more personal taste, isn’t it?

If I had accepted 80% good to be good enough back then, which wouldn’t have compromised the quality I’m sure, but would have likely meant I could have finished earlier, I would have not had to spend my free time on it and sacrifice my hobbies, and time with friends and family.

Full image, inspired by a cover of an old fairytale (Märchen) book.

Can we accept 80% good as a new standard this holiday season and beyond?

In case you raise your eyebrows at this, I get you! The idea that 80% is good enough is really hard for perfectionists and those with high standards. 

Side note if you’re worried: Don’t get me wrong, there’s genuinely nothing wrong with aiming to do well and producing high-quality work, however, it’s a good practice to try to see what happens when we consciously go off the gas a bit. 

If you’re doubting that, I promise, there’s likely not even a visible difference in results, yet, you’ll feel much more energised as you didn’t burn yourself or your resources out in the process. 

It’s refreshing to spend 80% of our energy on, for example, an urgent project deadline, and use the other 20% on something that brings us joy and fills our batteries instead.

If you’re still with me, shall we find some areas to focus on over the next few weeks where all of a sudden we’re expected to be out-of-the-ordinary perfect human beings? Let’s choose how we want to show up.

4 areas where I’m accepting 80% good enough to be my goal this holiday season

• In my yoga / Pilates classes, which are currently my priority over more high-impact workouts, I aim to not go into all deep stretches, and I didn’t push the additional limits. I just gave 80% and it felt really good, too. 

• For an upcoming client project, I won’t be spending 300% on prep outlining every argument for every possible scenario. Instead, I’ll do what’s needed and focus on preserving my energy to tap into my knowledge, experience and intuition on the day. That way I avoid burnout and feel clear-headed and creative.

• 80% of the Christmas presents are good enough. Saving, energy, nerves (and money) this holiday season. And I’m sure loved ones won’t even realise there are fewer gifts, decorations and meal options on the table.

• I won’t be spending an extra hour editing, rereading and polishing this post today. I know I could, maybe I should, but I’m sure the idea comes across, I’m sure it resonates with those who needed to hear these words. Those who like perfectionism and giving 300% all day every day will scroll past and have forgotten my words again tomorrow, but that’s okay.

In which area of your life will you try to accept 80% effort as good enough in the coming weeks? 

Do join me in the comments (or hit reply in email) if you want to chat and have some accountability 🫶 Wishing you a beautiful rest of November - see you in December ❄️