Summer without scrolling and all-or-nothing thinking

I got influenced and eventually quit Instagram. Here's the Why and How.

It’s Sunday 4:02 pm, and I’m writing to you from the train: Berlin → Munich. The green-grey landscapes of Eastern Germany whizz by the smudged window while the train rattles gently, snack papers rustle, and keyboards clatter as if it were a casual weekday. I smile at the meditative, monotonous background noise and can’t stop asking myself this nosy question: why does everyone seem so busy on their devices? 😇

📸 from the train. August afternoon sunshine dancing in the marsh.

Statistically, there’s no way everyone is self-employed. Do they all have demanding corporate jobs with no days off? Endless life admin tasks, a stressed elderly parent asking how to send photos on WhatsApp again? Or perhaps typing and scrolling is a coping mechanism, a way to feel productive or busy rather than spending time with our thoughts, reading, knitting or gazing out the window?

Whatever my fellow travellers do on their shiny MacBooks and blinking phones, I used to be glued to my screens a lot of the time, too. (There’s zero judgment here, just sharing contemplations.) Over the years, I’ve realised that social media often shows us two extremes: those who hustle and chase life hacks no matter where they are, and those who seek a slow, quiet life away from the buzz and consider moving to the countryside.

I have always enjoyed jumping between these two camps and used to be fed matching social media content endlessly - it all looked so perfect, and I truly wanted everrrrrything. To have a life like Betty Busy Business and Sabrina Sourdough… (fun fact my rye sourdough starter in the fridge is over 100 years old and called Rudi and I co-founded a tech company in the past).

I know I wasn’t the only one who used to live by other people’s capacity and dreamt of the life they deep down didn’t actually want.

Social media just made it all sound so good… we got influenced.

What feels true to me these days:

I don’t want a slow life and not a quiet life either.

I am also not a fan of our hustle queen culture.

In fact, I want a full life.

This doesn’t mean always moving fast. Quite the contrary, actually.

To me, a full life means the pace can shift and change in seasons.

It means living a life I truly love, making memories, going on adventures and also enjoying cosy quiet nights.

With this, intention is my north star.

I don’t exclude, I consciously invite in.

To paint the picture, this is what my reality looked like last week:

It was a full week away from home with a mix of digital strategy meetings with clients and catching up with loved ones. One day was rooftop drinks; the next, forest walks. After a day of business discussions and mindful productivity exchange, I enjoyed a quiet dinner by the lake. On half of these, I didn’t even bring my phone. I didn’t scroll while waiting like I used to do.

A week that was full but not overwhelmingly fast.

For less than your daily coffee, you can collect karma points here so more posts like this can come your way 💛

I don’t want it all, nor do I say we should aim to do everything the same way.

Rather than being influenced to do something one way, I invite you to choose what YOU wish to show up for, how and when. Ask yourself, what YOUR why is.

It’s for sure a learning curve and a journey, not a tickbox exercise, don’t you think?

So, what led to my breakup with Instagram in December 2023 for the second time?

I naturally gravitated more and more away from noise and stimulation, choosing contexts where I thrive: living in the here and now and not in Sourdough Sabrina’s kitchen or at Busy Betty’s Business desk. At the time, I had been working with a mentor for almost a year and was a lot more in tune with myself, my values and my needs than ever before.

It’s important to say that I do love photography, I do love a beautiful Instagram profile... I just can’t deal with the feed and all the information I don’t currently need.

I am not ignorant, I am selective.

Why?

• What served me for years and helped me connect with friends, teachers, mentors, and clients alike felt like a tool I needed then but no longer.

• I was certain that my scrolling was an avoidance habit running away from discomfort, tasks and daring to be bold.

• I felt unfulfilled and knew I wasn’t tapping into my potential but wasting my precious life instead.

• I knew I NEEDED to make space in my life to actually live and not observe others living theirs.

• I craved balance and nuance, away from social media’s picture-perfect world, away from black-and-white thinking. Away from hacks and formulas and rather healthy frameworks, which I create instead!

Realising and taking action on that was for sure a big step towards being deeper in alignment with myself.

…for the second time? The first time I left Instagram was a few years prior after having managed socials in a job I considered extremely stressful dealing with a large number of celebrities and high-profile partners. I rejoined the app a few months later, for a reason I don’t remember today.

How?

Once I knew my why, the how was easy. Delete the app. Install the One Sec App. See your streek and never go back. lol. What was meant to last maybe a month turned into an eight-month celebration of mental freedom. 💃 I don’t have a business relying on me showing up there so it’s easier.

Important: as long as I accidentally type Instagram into my App Store instead of another app I intended to download, I’m not even considering a partial return.

Screenshot from the One Sec App while pretending to attempt to open Instagram. 5344 hours is 222 days as of today when I write.

Let’s get into the juicy bits.

This is life post-Instagram:

1. Less screen time: especially when overwhelmed, avoidant, or tired I don’t reach for my phone anymore. I don’t own a TV nor watch Netflix series as an alternative.
   I feel more relaxed about my phone in general, take fewer photos on holidays, and am more present in everyday moments. I enjoy fun or cute things I see rather than always reaching for my phone every time.

2. More time and energy: I have more hours to myself, for learning, moving, spending time outside, and picking up those creative projects. I built a community with around 600 people here, doubling the number since the start of the year, while being conscious of my time online.
   And most importantly, I have my energy back to do strength training again, I always felt so drained before.

3. Living my life: I feel more at ease and less pulled into different directions. Living my life rather than strangers' lives is honestly so freeing!

   I own my choices and social media doesn’t own me anymore.

4. Mental Health and Sleep: My mental health has likely never been better and so has my sleep (thanks to my Oura Ring I can track the latter). My mood is better, my hormones are happier, I have clearer skin... It’s all interconnected!

5. Reading More: I have read more in 2024 than in the past three years combined (books, audiobooks and newsletters/blogs).

6. Stronger Intuition: I hear my gut feeling louder, feel my values more strongly, and see my life's golden thread, my gifts and next steps shining more brightly at me than ever before. ✨

7. Trust: I love my life in the city and countryside alike. I love the pace and the options I have at hand. I cherish these choices and trust that whenever life shifts, priorities will change again. There will be periods for a slow life, and those where everything happens fast. I don’t resist either, I welcome them with open arms surfing the waves of life!

What’s possible for us is up to us alone.

• It takes a lot more effort to stay in touch with my global group of friends.
  I miss them dearly and know that my choice requires reprioritisation, more phone calls and whatsapps. It means sharing proactively rather than expecting to be fed their updates on the feed. Essentially, it highlights the deep friendships and weeds out those who were superficially alive thanks to Instagram.

• We can start small.
  A week away from socials or the rest of the summer without scrolling? Everything is optional and since you set the rules, you can always assess, shift and change.

• It is possible to build connections with like-minded and businesses away from Instagram.
  The tool should never be the end goal, friendships offline and clients on email lists for example. Building a small community not a large audience is what I believe is most sustainable and impactful anyway.

• P.S. Should you want to look up your favourite people on Instagram, you can do so without logging in. Also, some tools allow Storie and Highlight watching. The UX of these tools is so terrible that I can promise you can’t get sucked in 🫢

ALL OR NOTHING?

Certainly not! I love nuance in case you haven’t figured that out yet. lol. I love change and checking in regularly to see what I need. However, I can’t see myself returning to Instagram any time soon, if ever… Quite frankly, I think I would get sucked into the algorithm again. In contrast, I don’t struggle with healthy boundaries on Substack, hence that’s where you can find me whenever I decide to show up and share 👋

So, if Instagram works for you / your business, I cheer you on, 100%! Amazing!!!

How about you?

Let’s connect in the comments because I know you’ll have valuable thoughts 💛
Big thank you to

Suzanne Heyn

,

Tuğba Avci

,

Jenna Nicole Stevens

,

Victoria Roessel

,

Jenna

,

David Barton

,

Johanna 💛

and

TJ Lubrano

for sharing some initial and nuanced thoughts here. It clearly is a topic that touches us all in one way or the other.

• How are you feeling about social media for your personal or business life, is it adding value today (I’m sure it can for some!)?

• How are you ensuring you take care of yourself when life and social media pull you in all directions?

• What helps you maintain strong boundaries to support living the life you love offline?

• Where might you want to bring more nuance to your thinking and approach to life, social media and the labels you may assign yourself and the way you live?

What you may have missed:

Why I send postcards to strangers on the internet and LOVE it (and you might, too)

A brave new chapter - will you join me?

P.S. This post is my 6th contribution to

Claire Venus

Essay Club - the coolest club on the internet 😇

For less than your daily coffee, you can collect karma points here: 💛