I’ve been radically reprioritising lately (something I’ve written a post about) so your posts speaks loudly to the part of me that needs to keep letting go 😌
I’m been consuming far too much content, especially books, and you’ve helped me see that once I’ve finished those I currently have on the go (which I can do this week) I need to allow myself the freedom to focus on other things for a while. I’ll still dip in and out of the year-long reads I have on the go…Cacophony of Bone and Slow Seasons…but the rest can wait until the summer or beyond.
By far the most precious part about writing is that, while we may think it’s just us in the writing process, others share their stories that are so similar to ours ❤️ thank you for sharing your experience Sarah!
I have too many piles of books lying around my flat and I just had to put them back to my shelf before Easter and acknowledge that now is not the time to go through them all. Just as you said, it’s just too much. A few dear ones that truly matter can stay, the rest will need to wait. That’s why I also had to step back from your lovely book club. I love Austin Kleon’s books but it was just too much to revisit them now.
I can’t wait to read your post on this. I fear I have missed a couple of yours recently..
I’ve been quiet on Substack reading (that autocorrected to resting…a sign, perhaps?) and writing front. Finding it hard to show up in some ways…easy in others 🙃
I am the kind of person who would say yes to everything and enjoy it all, but get overwhelmed. I genuinely enjoy most things and could endlessly entertain myself either way hobbies, theatre, films, sports, reading, podcasts and community events. I really struggle to say no and it is impacting my quality of life. I’m currently at capacity and I need to really support myself by saying no unless it’s a hell yes.
Kelly, sorry to hear you’re also often taking too much on! I was at the same point again last week. While I’m more aware and get better with it, sometimes I seem to forget too. I guess it’s all part of being human. We’re in this together! Hope you’re keeping well! X
Loved the article! That’s exactly it! And I would add FOMO, that also has led me to serious decision fatigue…I used to be a social butterfly 🦋 and wanted to be everywhere and missing an event, concert, lecture, seminar, etc…always made me feel like I was missing something that would make me happy and also for everything you mentioned FOMO is real…so one day I read the quote that either it’s a “Hell Yes!” or a “No” and that’s how I make decisions now…basically, I wouldn’t eliminate everything, I would listen to my inner self and gut…but I still think nowadays life has a lot of great and beautiful things to offer and it’s hard to fit it all in the time we have…I love everything I learn through Instagram, podcasts, YouTube, books, Netflix…I love making art, photography and crafts, cooking & baking…and yes it relaxes me…I just chose to do less only the “Hell Yes” things at specific dedicated times when I feel I need it…and never feel bad about what I didn’t do, I learned to be happy with my decisions by believing it was always the right one…believing it was meant to be that way…I just don’t know how to write as well as all of you do and I enjoy reading all of you, when the time is right! Thanks much! 😉
Yes fomo is a big one! And it’s an ongoing topic for me, something I don’t give a sh*t about it all, sometimes I feel like I’m truly missing out. Coming back to the hell yes approach is definitely helpful, totally agree with you! Thank you for reading and sharing
And don’t worry so much about writing “as well as everyone” if you enjoy writing, do it! English is not my first language and I always have too many ideas for a post, I’m sure there would be lots to improve. But I write because I enjoy it 😅
Cutting back on multi tasking - this is something that really hits home for me. I struggle to be in the moment and then wonder why when actually I am often doing several things at once in a bid to feel ‘productive’. This is a habit I must make a conscious effort to break. I’m also really with you about the news. I deleted the apps and turned off the notifications. Not through ignorance but definitely overwhelm…thanks for this piece, it’s really powerful…
Thank you Rachel 🥰 so glad my words resonated and that it’s all a “work in progress” , the finding our sweet spot of what works and what does for you too!
This has given me the push I needed to reflect and prioritize, or not I guess. I'd love to be able to word this in a much better way, my dog is trying to play so it's slightly distracting. I find your attitude refreshing and inspiring. Starting with what I want to say no to is something for I've began. It feels damn good.
You mentioned if anyone needs help qhen you spoke about a mentor you had. I'd love to talk to you about this, I understand you must be busy though. This is exactly what I need to figure out for my own life, what gives me joy, what drains it. Thank you.
Hi Hannah thank you for taking the time read and comment. So glad my words resonate and inspire further introspection. Saying no more is so healing, isn’t it?
In regards to saying yess to what nourishes us… Please feel free to dm me here on substack and I’m more than happy discuss how I may be able to support you. :)
I’ve been mentoring women and businesses for years and also worked with mentors, therapist and coaches over the years myself.
You're welcome but really I should thank you. It certainly has led to more self reflection and will.
Yes, it most definitely is healing. No to the people who drain me, even a few days of this has made a difference. I'm reevaluating what does nourish me and what I want to say yes to.
Thank you so much for your kind reply and offer to dm you. This is where my anxiety kicks in as I don't have a business etc but I understand that may not be necessary. Apologies on advance if my dm is awkwardly written 😅 thank you again
Yess, my dms are always open :) and please do not worry, there’s absolutely no need to have a business of course. Women with businesses and women without businesses are welcome in my space :) hugs!
I enjoyed reading this article and it popped up for me to read at precisely the right time. I enjoyed the winter season being your quitting season, and over here in the southern hemisphere, we are edging into our winter months. I identified with the Instagram and multitasking points the most and you've given me food for thought as I go into today x
YES! Simplifying, reprioritising, decluttering! It's all part of the process and it helps my brain and the rest of me enormously. Being a full-time carer leaves little room for other things. Being disabled takes up most of the other things' room. So I have a small sliver of opportunity to engage with compelling people and support myself through creative endeavours. I've given up trying to develop a website (I use Substack currently) and I am not taking on clients right now. I've minimised email, given up MeWe, will be deleting Instagram (it sucks the life out of me through scrolling), and have given up groups that don't serve me. There is more to come! Thanks, Carmen! 🙂
I recently posted a Note about how it is okay to quit. It certainly does not make us less ambitious or ignorant, so I love that you wrote about it.
I recently quit Instagram that I started for my newsletter (said goodbye to my personal instagram 2 years ago!) and it has been so rewarding and nourishing for my overall wellbeing. I guess I was just holding on to it because it would feel like I had failed if I stopped posting after years of working hard on it. But I was so wrong, and just having that realisation and taking that first step changed my life completely!✨
What wise words Mansi! I’m still learning that giving something up doesn’t equal failure and even if it did, failure is okay. So much reframing of these social narratives is required…. Well done for stepping away from instagram when you realised it’s no longer serving you! And of course there’s no rules so we can always return with more capacity at another time. 💛
I really enjoyed reading this, it has given me sooooo much to think about and consider about I'm consuming, and if I am giving myself enough time to ruminate in my thoughts. Thank you so much for the mention, I really appreciate it!
I completely agree. When I first started working at the garden I wanted to know all the 101 jobs I could be doing. But it doesn’t work like that. You have one job, there’s no panic, plenty of other volunteers to work on other things. You just focus on your job and do it at your own pace. That felt so new to me. And I find it’s an active practice to tell my brain it’s ok to do one thing at a time. A very resonating post. Thank you!
“I would argue there’s generally no right or wrong decision, just options. We make mistakes, we learn, we evolve.” <—— As a fellow recovering over-thinker, I agree! What a freeing place to live from.
There is *so* much “content” available to us and most of it feels like there’s urgency and obligation attached to it. (And seemingly intertwined with capitalism these days.) We are continually fed the narrative that we’re missing out if we don’t engage - that we are lacking something. But it’s too much. I don’t think we were ever supposed to learn to function with so much information/access/news/media or to participate in so much. We absolutely gain so much more when we can simplify what has access to us. Being present, simplifying my life and protecting my peace becomes so much more important to me now than trying to keep up. Thank you for this, Carmen.
Wow, I’m speechless thank you for your thoughtful comment Erin! Absolutely, our brains are overworked and overwhelmed and haven’t (yet) adapted to what we’re explosed to in today’s world. I’d be curious to see whether our brains develop differently to be able to cope with what’s to come in let’s say 100-200 years
Love this! Very relatable for me right now! I also just deleted Instagram from my phone, best decision! I was on vacation last week and felt myself taking photos just because I thought they would be cool for Insta… I felt pathetic. No shame, of course, for people who enjoy doing that, but I think it’s not for me anymore. I wrote something recently about slowing down in case you’re interested: https://dearmother.substack.com/p/slow-the-fuck-down
I’m working on following the less is more concept. Baby steps. Thanks for sharing this!
I'll share how staying off instagram for nearly 6 months changed me as a person soon. Can't wait to hear how it's going for you.
I also felt the same as you said, when we mindlessly take photos or search for "instagram" in apps like I still mindlessly do now and then and realise I was actually looking for another app, it's time we stay off that app for a bit longer 😂
I'll check out your post, thakn you for sharing Alexis! x
I’ve been radically reprioritising lately (something I’ve written a post about) so your posts speaks loudly to the part of me that needs to keep letting go 😌
I’m been consuming far too much content, especially books, and you’ve helped me see that once I’ve finished those I currently have on the go (which I can do this week) I need to allow myself the freedom to focus on other things for a while. I’ll still dip in and out of the year-long reads I have on the go…Cacophony of Bone and Slow Seasons…but the rest can wait until the summer or beyond.
Thank you for the timely post 💛
By far the most precious part about writing is that, while we may think it’s just us in the writing process, others share their stories that are so similar to ours ❤️ thank you for sharing your experience Sarah!
I have too many piles of books lying around my flat and I just had to put them back to my shelf before Easter and acknowledge that now is not the time to go through them all. Just as you said, it’s just too much. A few dear ones that truly matter can stay, the rest will need to wait. That’s why I also had to step back from your lovely book club. I love Austin Kleon’s books but it was just too much to revisit them now.
I can’t wait to read your post on this. I fear I have missed a couple of yours recently..
I’ve been quiet on Substack reading (that autocorrected to resting…a sign, perhaps?) and writing front. Finding it hard to show up in some ways…easy in others 🙃
I am the kind of person who would say yes to everything and enjoy it all, but get overwhelmed. I genuinely enjoy most things and could endlessly entertain myself either way hobbies, theatre, films, sports, reading, podcasts and community events. I really struggle to say no and it is impacting my quality of life. I’m currently at capacity and I need to really support myself by saying no unless it’s a hell yes.
I feel the same as you, Kelly!
💕
Kelly, sorry to hear you’re also often taking too much on! I was at the same point again last week. While I’m more aware and get better with it, sometimes I seem to forget too. I guess it’s all part of being human. We’re in this together! Hope you’re keeping well! X
Loved the article! That’s exactly it! And I would add FOMO, that also has led me to serious decision fatigue…I used to be a social butterfly 🦋 and wanted to be everywhere and missing an event, concert, lecture, seminar, etc…always made me feel like I was missing something that would make me happy and also for everything you mentioned FOMO is real…so one day I read the quote that either it’s a “Hell Yes!” or a “No” and that’s how I make decisions now…basically, I wouldn’t eliminate everything, I would listen to my inner self and gut…but I still think nowadays life has a lot of great and beautiful things to offer and it’s hard to fit it all in the time we have…I love everything I learn through Instagram, podcasts, YouTube, books, Netflix…I love making art, photography and crafts, cooking & baking…and yes it relaxes me…I just chose to do less only the “Hell Yes” things at specific dedicated times when I feel I need it…and never feel bad about what I didn’t do, I learned to be happy with my decisions by believing it was always the right one…believing it was meant to be that way…I just don’t know how to write as well as all of you do and I enjoy reading all of you, when the time is right! Thanks much! 😉
Yes fomo is a big one! And it’s an ongoing topic for me, something I don’t give a sh*t about it all, sometimes I feel like I’m truly missing out. Coming back to the hell yes approach is definitely helpful, totally agree with you! Thank you for reading and sharing
And don’t worry so much about writing “as well as everyone” if you enjoy writing, do it! English is not my first language and I always have too many ideas for a post, I’m sure there would be lots to improve. But I write because I enjoy it 😅
Textures and colors; putting self-interest and curiosity first. ❤️ I'm flowing with your work ❤️
Cutting back on multi tasking - this is something that really hits home for me. I struggle to be in the moment and then wonder why when actually I am often doing several things at once in a bid to feel ‘productive’. This is a habit I must make a conscious effort to break. I’m also really with you about the news. I deleted the apps and turned off the notifications. Not through ignorance but definitely overwhelm…thanks for this piece, it’s really powerful…
Thank you Rachel 🥰 so glad my words resonated and that it’s all a “work in progress” , the finding our sweet spot of what works and what does for you too!
Great to have you here 😊
This has given me the push I needed to reflect and prioritize, or not I guess. I'd love to be able to word this in a much better way, my dog is trying to play so it's slightly distracting. I find your attitude refreshing and inspiring. Starting with what I want to say no to is something for I've began. It feels damn good.
You mentioned if anyone needs help qhen you spoke about a mentor you had. I'd love to talk to you about this, I understand you must be busy though. This is exactly what I need to figure out for my own life, what gives me joy, what drains it. Thank you.
Hi Hannah thank you for taking the time read and comment. So glad my words resonate and inspire further introspection. Saying no more is so healing, isn’t it?
In regards to saying yess to what nourishes us… Please feel free to dm me here on substack and I’m more than happy discuss how I may be able to support you. :)
I’ve been mentoring women and businesses for years and also worked with mentors, therapist and coaches over the years myself.
You're welcome but really I should thank you. It certainly has led to more self reflection and will.
Yes, it most definitely is healing. No to the people who drain me, even a few days of this has made a difference. I'm reevaluating what does nourish me and what I want to say yes to.
Thank you so much for your kind reply and offer to dm you. This is where my anxiety kicks in as I don't have a business etc but I understand that may not be necessary. Apologies on advance if my dm is awkwardly written 😅 thank you again
Yess, my dms are always open :) and please do not worry, there’s absolutely no need to have a business of course. Women with businesses and women without businesses are welcome in my space :) hugs!
I'm also in my 30s and over analyse and over think everything. You make excellent points
Feels good to realise that we aren’t eh knelt ones facing challenges sometimes, right? X
I enjoyed reading this article and it popped up for me to read at precisely the right time. I enjoyed the winter season being your quitting season, and over here in the southern hemisphere, we are edging into our winter months. I identified with the Instagram and multitasking points the most and you've given me food for thought as I go into today x
Oh so glad to hear it resonated despite you being in the southern hemisphere, Abi!
I’m curious, where did it pop up for you as I’m never quite sure how people find their way here :) glad to have you x
It was suggested on my Substack app home feed :)
Thank you for sharing! Very interesting :)
YES! Simplifying, reprioritising, decluttering! It's all part of the process and it helps my brain and the rest of me enormously. Being a full-time carer leaves little room for other things. Being disabled takes up most of the other things' room. So I have a small sliver of opportunity to engage with compelling people and support myself through creative endeavours. I've given up trying to develop a website (I use Substack currently) and I am not taking on clients right now. I've minimised email, given up MeWe, will be deleting Instagram (it sucks the life out of me through scrolling), and have given up groups that don't serve me. There is more to come! Thanks, Carmen! 🙂
Loving your photography Carmen❤️
I love this!
I recently posted a Note about how it is okay to quit. It certainly does not make us less ambitious or ignorant, so I love that you wrote about it.
I recently quit Instagram that I started for my newsletter (said goodbye to my personal instagram 2 years ago!) and it has been so rewarding and nourishing for my overall wellbeing. I guess I was just holding on to it because it would feel like I had failed if I stopped posting after years of working hard on it. But I was so wrong, and just having that realisation and taking that first step changed my life completely!✨
What wise words Mansi! I’m still learning that giving something up doesn’t equal failure and even if it did, failure is okay. So much reframing of these social narratives is required…. Well done for stepping away from instagram when you realised it’s no longer serving you! And of course there’s no rules so we can always return with more capacity at another time. 💛
Absolutely loved everything about this 💞 completely missed that you had tagged me and my embroidery too, what a sweet cherry on the top thank you 🥰🥰
💖
I really enjoyed reading this, it has given me sooooo much to think about and consider about I'm consuming, and if I am giving myself enough time to ruminate in my thoughts. Thank you so much for the mention, I really appreciate it!
Of course, your piece needed to be included, the perfect further exploration for those keen to deepen their creative practice! ✨
Thank you also for your kind words, this means a lot!
I completely agree. When I first started working at the garden I wanted to know all the 101 jobs I could be doing. But it doesn’t work like that. You have one job, there’s no panic, plenty of other volunteers to work on other things. You just focus on your job and do it at your own pace. That felt so new to me. And I find it’s an active practice to tell my brain it’s ok to do one thing at a time. A very resonating post. Thank you!
Oh Anna, so well said! yes our brains need a lot of loving attention and reminders that it’s okay the way we do things. ❣️
“I would argue there’s generally no right or wrong decision, just options. We make mistakes, we learn, we evolve.” <—— As a fellow recovering over-thinker, I agree! What a freeing place to live from.
There is *so* much “content” available to us and most of it feels like there’s urgency and obligation attached to it. (And seemingly intertwined with capitalism these days.) We are continually fed the narrative that we’re missing out if we don’t engage - that we are lacking something. But it’s too much. I don’t think we were ever supposed to learn to function with so much information/access/news/media or to participate in so much. We absolutely gain so much more when we can simplify what has access to us. Being present, simplifying my life and protecting my peace becomes so much more important to me now than trying to keep up. Thank you for this, Carmen.
Wow, I’m speechless thank you for your thoughtful comment Erin! Absolutely, our brains are overworked and overwhelmed and haven’t (yet) adapted to what we’re explosed to in today’s world. I’d be curious to see whether our brains develop differently to be able to cope with what’s to come in let’s say 100-200 years
Love this! Very relatable for me right now! I also just deleted Instagram from my phone, best decision! I was on vacation last week and felt myself taking photos just because I thought they would be cool for Insta… I felt pathetic. No shame, of course, for people who enjoy doing that, but I think it’s not for me anymore. I wrote something recently about slowing down in case you’re interested: https://dearmother.substack.com/p/slow-the-fuck-down
I’m working on following the less is more concept. Baby steps. Thanks for sharing this!
yass, so freeing to delete the app, right?
I'll share how staying off instagram for nearly 6 months changed me as a person soon. Can't wait to hear how it's going for you.
I also felt the same as you said, when we mindlessly take photos or search for "instagram" in apps like I still mindlessly do now and then and realise I was actually looking for another app, it's time we stay off that app for a bit longer 😂
I'll check out your post, thakn you for sharing Alexis! x
Excited to read that once you publish it! X