I love loove this! 🥰 I didn't start with solo traveling until I was in my late twenties as I pivoted my life around at 25 and I had to rebuild a lot of facets of my world again. While I always felt the call to travel, I never fully pursued it as it wasn't something that was done in my family. Both my parents aren't travelers and I was the first that had big dreams and wild advntures. As I'm writing this, I'm not surprised that I found my traveling in reading all the books and eventually drawing my imagination, haha. 🎨
So back to traveling! I did go to other cities in The Netherlands for day trips, but I always went with a friend. Looking back, I believe my very first "out of the coutry" trip by myself was to the UK when I was 28, I think. Even though I met with a friend the moment I landed, doing all the standard travel thingies beforehand and sitting in the plane by myself was new to me. The trip that was a proper solo trip was in my early thirties to Japan. Japan has always felt like, "my home away from home", despite never been there and the moment I landed, it felt so incredibly familiar. I remember walking out of the plane, going through the airport, waiting for the "Oh em gee! I am finally in Japan!!" feeling to hit. It never did, instead I felt more and more grounded and settled within myself as the days flowed along. Because this was so unusual to me, I did question it a lot and since it was my very first time truly being by myself, I also had to get used to not having to feel responsible for someone else or rely on others for decisions. That trip has been a pivotal moment on so many levels for me. I wandered around like a local. When I was in "touristy" areas, I went on a quest to find the hidden areas. I had one moment when I arrived in Kyoto where I got hit with a feeling of confusion, faint whispers questions about my life & work got a bit louder and I wasn't quite sure what I was doing and how I'd spent a week there. The moment I spotted a bookstore, all calmed down a bit again as I remembered how life is a book we're writing. When it comes to traveling in general and my rituals, I have several, but one thing I always love to have the opportunity for is to get my own groceries and cook. It grounds me and makes me feel even more at home when I'm away.
Ohhh! It's on my list to celebrate my birthday abroad and be myself and I've a feeling that it could happen this year! 🤗
/end ramble! Thank you for this wonderful post, lovely! 💜
Wow thank you for taking the time to share your journey, how you built the confidence and desire over years! It’s so beautiful t read how everyone has their own ways of dipping toes into water before taking a few lapses and eventually a longer swim in the adventurous lake of solo travels. 💕
It sounds like an incredibly rewarding experience to go to Japan and feel so at home, away from home. Familiarity in a foreign (and yet not so) foreign place is so nourishing. Hope to read more about your travels in the future! 🌸
My part 2, the birthday alone, will follow in a week or 2. X
Absolutely loved everything about this Carmen!! And thank you so much for the mention ❣️ I feel like you’re describing me just that I was raised by non-travelers in a tiny village in Sweden where you literally have to cross the whole of Germany before you get anywhere interesting 😂😂
The resentment to grouped or planned travelling is real 💯 Now that we live in Belgium close to Luxembourg my nect goal is to get a camper so we can go mid week on road trips with only our intuition as guide.
Ps. We’re almost the same age too (I’m born 95) and I’m obsessed with physical maps (or to leave them altogether) Google maps is boring. Love to get to know you 🥂
Ohh I can't wait to read about your camper travel stories that you"ll hopefully be sharing on here 😍 and it was so fun to get to know you, your travel and moving abroad perspectives and stories on notes and here this week, Elin!
Lot's to think about for me and my partner as we try figure out where we want to live long term... thank you for sharing your thoughts the other day!
Now I'm feeling old compared to you in your sweet late 20s 😂 but I guess the map love makes us both dinosaurs for gen z's lol
You wanted to write about solo travel and its myths, but the way I see it you ended up writing a captivating essay about yourself. I loved discovering more about you through your stories about your travels, how you travel and even about your parents' travelling heritage.
Looking forward to reading about your stay in Porto -- the photo of the place looks so comfy! And happy belated birthday, Carmen! 🎉🎈
I think the key is to simply find solutions fitting your personality to avoid feeling uncomfortable. I traveled solo for the first time 3 years ago, when I was 30 years old. I took the "easy" path, driving through Switzerland (the border is just 1,5 h away from where I live) because I loved it and renting a tiny Airbnb just for myself because I wanted to feel comfortable and safe. It changed me in such a positive way that I look forward to more solo travels from now on. Looking forward to part 2 of your post!
Thank you for stopping by and sharing about your trip, Alice! Ohh I love that we're both living at the feet of the Alps. 🙌 I'm currently creating something amazing that is aimed at bringing all those in non English speaking countries together that write in their English despite english not being their first language. We should all celebrate ourselves a bit more.
So glad you traveled in a way that felt like it's authentically you without compromising on your needs, dreams and requirements - that's the great thing about solo travelling no matter how close or far away we go. Can't wait to read about your future travels, too, Alice. 🫶
P.S. Part 2 will come soon, it's been a busy week and I don't get to spend much time writing during the week
It's nice to see the balance of enjoyment but also safety! Sometimes I see (I also know someone) who travels alone and although she's been doing it for a long time, has recently made a questionable decision that could have lead to a deadly outcome.
I've never been much for traveling on my own but I did move across the country on my own when I was 24 to a place where I knew no one and the culture was opposite of what I grew up with. You're right -- you do learn a lot about yourself, what you're capable of and how to live with yourself. I think that move will always be one of my biggest accomplishments and it ultimately lead me to my current life. Married with 3 beautiful young children. Always be grateful for the journey!
Ohhh, totally agree, moving across the country, abroad or anywhere unfamiliar can be so challenging, I would say a lot more than a solo travel because with travels we know, we will return to our home. I've moved country alone so I feel you there, the cultural differences can mean there's so much guessing because what do they mean by saying this or that... right?
Sounds like a fairy tale to meet your love there and eventually have kids together!
Thank you for stopping by and sharing your experience. Can't wait to diver deeper into you writing over the weekend! x
This spoke directly to my heart! Let’s create new narratives of female solo travel beyond yoga retreats and parties.
So much of my travel became a quiet reflection time, deep rest and prioritising pleasure in simple things. I took myself to Milan last week, and spent hours reading in bed or just walking around the Naviglio neighbourhood immersing myself in the everyday life. And it was one of the most nourishing trips I ever had despite the destination being a huge metropolitan city.
Lovely to meet you, Jana, thank you for stopping by in the comments. 🫶 I am so happy to meet another "local" writer from the Alpine region, I am creating something really exciting at the moment so we can all support each other more :)
YESSSS to reading in bed on holiday, taking it slow, finding pleasure in little things we may not normally do at home. We truly don't need to rush around in the holiday location to "get the most". out of the trip. That scene you describe reminds me of me having the most incredible Portuguese treats in bed, licking my fingers after the croissant and being so happy that no one can complain about the crumbs because it's just me hahah and then reading while the rain was pouring down outside
I adored everything about this, Carmen! From your own perspective and thoughts and ideas to how I found so much of myself in your own words. It was a reminder of how deeply I love travel.
My wife and I spent yesterday morning planning a long weekend trip to Florence in the spring. We were getting so bogged down in finding where to stay that felt like “us”, when I suddenly stumbled upon a place called The Secret Garden. Anyway, long story short, right in the middle of central Florence is this eco-friendly, retreat that has only 5 rooms and books and organic food run by a young Italian couple. We booked it immediately and it felt so good to my soul. So right, you know? All I want when I travel is to soak up the local culture.
Thanks for your inspiring words - and also a reminder to make that next solo trip I’ve been yearning for a reality! ❤️
Ohhh I want to hear all about your trip to Florence and The Secret Garden, it's magical how the perfect locations sometimes appear out of nowhere. I went to Florence alone in April 2020 while taking a break from work. Such a wonderful City, sadly it was a bit rainy during my stay so hoping you'll both have more luck, Liz! Florence in bloom is magical! 🌸
Loved this Carmen, so inspiring to hear of your solo travel experiences, it sounds like the dream. Also so interesting and helpful to have your insights and tips! I travelled a lot in my 20s but pretty much always with a friend or my now husband. In my 30s I travelled a lot for work and a lot of this was solo (though required meeting up with clients etc), I loved the days when I didn’t have an itinerary dictated by work and I think my favourite way to explore a city is on foot and on my own. All a far cry from current travels which are catered to young children and have lost any sense of ease for now! xx
Thank you for stopping by, Lyndsay, and leaving such a thoughtful comment as always. 🫶
Did you find the client travels also super draining? I avoid them as much as I can lol should probably not say that anywhere publicly but cherish the team building travels like going to Florida for a few days in Feb, the only way to survive a jetlag is a few days of solo travel like you did in the past. Was there any destination you particularly enjoyed, no matter how close or far away?
Oh I can imagine it's so different now with the little ones. I wonder how my travelling needs will change in the future.
Oh my goodness, draining YES! I forgot about that part...! Often the trips were press trips, entertaining journalists, I.e. conversing with highly intelligent writers for a concentrated period of time. And of course, presentations etc with clients were exhausting too! I understand why you avoid work travel (it often sounds far more exciting than the reality) but your team building exercises sound fun, especially in Florida!
I went to Brussels/Belgium once or twice a year for about 12 years and so it will always feel special, Venice too was a regular destination and I found to be incredibly magical especially in winter. I had a brilliant time in Miami for the art fairs there! It all feels rather a distant memory right now...! xx
So many wonderful destinations. Place and adventures and surely some tiring meetings you can tell your kids about in the future when they reach the age when the want to know what it’s like to have worked in the grow up corporate world 😅
I absolutely loved reading this! What a truly amazing piece. I loved getting to know about your solo travel likes, and honestly it’s made me want to get out on my own more often. I don’t think I’ll ever be fully brave enough to travel alone to a different country (thanks anxiety.. but who knows, maybe one day I will!). But for now, I’ll keep trying to explore more local places on my own 🤍
Thank you again for sharing your perspective on notes the other day Jenna. It really was a great reminder to me of that aspect of travelling or rather spending time with oneself - and yes, that can be done anywhere, any time and really in a way that works for our nervous system and anxiety.
And I also think we can dream and don't need to stress ourselves, life always evolves so who knows what the next season will look like. ❤️ Thank you for travelling with me via substack as I share my journey x
Love your little home design! ❤️
🫶
I love loove this! 🥰 I didn't start with solo traveling until I was in my late twenties as I pivoted my life around at 25 and I had to rebuild a lot of facets of my world again. While I always felt the call to travel, I never fully pursued it as it wasn't something that was done in my family. Both my parents aren't travelers and I was the first that had big dreams and wild advntures. As I'm writing this, I'm not surprised that I found my traveling in reading all the books and eventually drawing my imagination, haha. 🎨
So back to traveling! I did go to other cities in The Netherlands for day trips, but I always went with a friend. Looking back, I believe my very first "out of the coutry" trip by myself was to the UK when I was 28, I think. Even though I met with a friend the moment I landed, doing all the standard travel thingies beforehand and sitting in the plane by myself was new to me. The trip that was a proper solo trip was in my early thirties to Japan. Japan has always felt like, "my home away from home", despite never been there and the moment I landed, it felt so incredibly familiar. I remember walking out of the plane, going through the airport, waiting for the "Oh em gee! I am finally in Japan!!" feeling to hit. It never did, instead I felt more and more grounded and settled within myself as the days flowed along. Because this was so unusual to me, I did question it a lot and since it was my very first time truly being by myself, I also had to get used to not having to feel responsible for someone else or rely on others for decisions. That trip has been a pivotal moment on so many levels for me. I wandered around like a local. When I was in "touristy" areas, I went on a quest to find the hidden areas. I had one moment when I arrived in Kyoto where I got hit with a feeling of confusion, faint whispers questions about my life & work got a bit louder and I wasn't quite sure what I was doing and how I'd spent a week there. The moment I spotted a bookstore, all calmed down a bit again as I remembered how life is a book we're writing. When it comes to traveling in general and my rituals, I have several, but one thing I always love to have the opportunity for is to get my own groceries and cook. It grounds me and makes me feel even more at home when I'm away.
Ohhh! It's on my list to celebrate my birthday abroad and be myself and I've a feeling that it could happen this year! 🤗
/end ramble! Thank you for this wonderful post, lovely! 💜
Wow thank you for taking the time to share your journey, how you built the confidence and desire over years! It’s so beautiful t read how everyone has their own ways of dipping toes into water before taking a few lapses and eventually a longer swim in the adventurous lake of solo travels. 💕
It sounds like an incredibly rewarding experience to go to Japan and feel so at home, away from home. Familiarity in a foreign (and yet not so) foreign place is so nourishing. Hope to read more about your travels in the future! 🌸
My part 2, the birthday alone, will follow in a week or 2. X
Absolutely loved everything about this Carmen!! And thank you so much for the mention ❣️ I feel like you’re describing me just that I was raised by non-travelers in a tiny village in Sweden where you literally have to cross the whole of Germany before you get anywhere interesting 😂😂
The resentment to grouped or planned travelling is real 💯 Now that we live in Belgium close to Luxembourg my nect goal is to get a camper so we can go mid week on road trips with only our intuition as guide.
Ps. We’re almost the same age too (I’m born 95) and I’m obsessed with physical maps (or to leave them altogether) Google maps is boring. Love to get to know you 🥂
Ohh I can't wait to read about your camper travel stories that you"ll hopefully be sharing on here 😍 and it was so fun to get to know you, your travel and moving abroad perspectives and stories on notes and here this week, Elin!
Lot's to think about for me and my partner as we try figure out where we want to live long term... thank you for sharing your thoughts the other day!
Now I'm feeling old compared to you in your sweet late 20s 😂 but I guess the map love makes us both dinosaurs for gen z's lol
lol you’re NOT old haha though I love being a Dinosaur if it means to ditch some technology 😂😂🙏🏼❤️❣️✨🥂
🦕🦖🫶
You wanted to write about solo travel and its myths, but the way I see it you ended up writing a captivating essay about yourself. I loved discovering more about you through your stories about your travels, how you travel and even about your parents' travelling heritage.
Looking forward to reading about your stay in Porto -- the photo of the place looks so comfy! And happy belated birthday, Carmen! 🎉🎈
thank you as always Monica ❤️ Also for the fun exchange on notes this week!
You're welcome! It's a pleasure to make friends around here 🩷
I think the key is to simply find solutions fitting your personality to avoid feeling uncomfortable. I traveled solo for the first time 3 years ago, when I was 30 years old. I took the "easy" path, driving through Switzerland (the border is just 1,5 h away from where I live) because I loved it and renting a tiny Airbnb just for myself because I wanted to feel comfortable and safe. It changed me in such a positive way that I look forward to more solo travels from now on. Looking forward to part 2 of your post!
Thank you for stopping by and sharing about your trip, Alice! Ohh I love that we're both living at the feet of the Alps. 🙌 I'm currently creating something amazing that is aimed at bringing all those in non English speaking countries together that write in their English despite english not being their first language. We should all celebrate ourselves a bit more.
So glad you traveled in a way that felt like it's authentically you without compromising on your needs, dreams and requirements - that's the great thing about solo travelling no matter how close or far away we go. Can't wait to read about your future travels, too, Alice. 🫶
P.S. Part 2 will come soon, it's been a busy week and I don't get to spend much time writing during the week
It's nice to see the balance of enjoyment but also safety! Sometimes I see (I also know someone) who travels alone and although she's been doing it for a long time, has recently made a questionable decision that could have lead to a deadly outcome.
I've never been much for traveling on my own but I did move across the country on my own when I was 24 to a place where I knew no one and the culture was opposite of what I grew up with. You're right -- you do learn a lot about yourself, what you're capable of and how to live with yourself. I think that move will always be one of my biggest accomplishments and it ultimately lead me to my current life. Married with 3 beautiful young children. Always be grateful for the journey!
Ohhh, totally agree, moving across the country, abroad or anywhere unfamiliar can be so challenging, I would say a lot more than a solo travel because with travels we know, we will return to our home. I've moved country alone so I feel you there, the cultural differences can mean there's so much guessing because what do they mean by saying this or that... right?
Sounds like a fairy tale to meet your love there and eventually have kids together!
Thank you for stopping by and sharing your experience. Can't wait to diver deeper into you writing over the weekend! x
Thanks so much!! New stuff coming in February so make sure you’re subscribed :)
This spoke directly to my heart! Let’s create new narratives of female solo travel beyond yoga retreats and parties.
So much of my travel became a quiet reflection time, deep rest and prioritising pleasure in simple things. I took myself to Milan last week, and spent hours reading in bed or just walking around the Naviglio neighbourhood immersing myself in the everyday life. And it was one of the most nourishing trips I ever had despite the destination being a huge metropolitan city.
Lovely to meet you, Jana, thank you for stopping by in the comments. 🫶 I am so happy to meet another "local" writer from the Alpine region, I am creating something really exciting at the moment so we can all support each other more :)
YESSSS to reading in bed on holiday, taking it slow, finding pleasure in little things we may not normally do at home. We truly don't need to rush around in the holiday location to "get the most". out of the trip. That scene you describe reminds me of me having the most incredible Portuguese treats in bed, licking my fingers after the croissant and being so happy that no one can complain about the crumbs because it's just me hahah and then reading while the rain was pouring down outside
I adored everything about this, Carmen! From your own perspective and thoughts and ideas to how I found so much of myself in your own words. It was a reminder of how deeply I love travel.
My wife and I spent yesterday morning planning a long weekend trip to Florence in the spring. We were getting so bogged down in finding where to stay that felt like “us”, when I suddenly stumbled upon a place called The Secret Garden. Anyway, long story short, right in the middle of central Florence is this eco-friendly, retreat that has only 5 rooms and books and organic food run by a young Italian couple. We booked it immediately and it felt so good to my soul. So right, you know? All I want when I travel is to soak up the local culture.
Thanks for your inspiring words - and also a reminder to make that next solo trip I’ve been yearning for a reality! ❤️
Ohhh I want to hear all about your trip to Florence and The Secret Garden, it's magical how the perfect locations sometimes appear out of nowhere. I went to Florence alone in April 2020 while taking a break from work. Such a wonderful City, sadly it was a bit rainy during my stay so hoping you'll both have more luck, Liz! Florence in bloom is magical! 🌸
Loved this Carmen, so inspiring to hear of your solo travel experiences, it sounds like the dream. Also so interesting and helpful to have your insights and tips! I travelled a lot in my 20s but pretty much always with a friend or my now husband. In my 30s I travelled a lot for work and a lot of this was solo (though required meeting up with clients etc), I loved the days when I didn’t have an itinerary dictated by work and I think my favourite way to explore a city is on foot and on my own. All a far cry from current travels which are catered to young children and have lost any sense of ease for now! xx
Thank you for stopping by, Lyndsay, and leaving such a thoughtful comment as always. 🫶
Did you find the client travels also super draining? I avoid them as much as I can lol should probably not say that anywhere publicly but cherish the team building travels like going to Florida for a few days in Feb, the only way to survive a jetlag is a few days of solo travel like you did in the past. Was there any destination you particularly enjoyed, no matter how close or far away?
Oh I can imagine it's so different now with the little ones. I wonder how my travelling needs will change in the future.
Oh my goodness, draining YES! I forgot about that part...! Often the trips were press trips, entertaining journalists, I.e. conversing with highly intelligent writers for a concentrated period of time. And of course, presentations etc with clients were exhausting too! I understand why you avoid work travel (it often sounds far more exciting than the reality) but your team building exercises sound fun, especially in Florida!
I went to Brussels/Belgium once or twice a year for about 12 years and so it will always feel special, Venice too was a regular destination and I found to be incredibly magical especially in winter. I had a brilliant time in Miami for the art fairs there! It all feels rather a distant memory right now...! xx
So many wonderful destinations. Place and adventures and surely some tiring meetings you can tell your kids about in the future when they reach the age when the want to know what it’s like to have worked in the grow up corporate world 😅
I absolutely loved reading this! What a truly amazing piece. I loved getting to know about your solo travel likes, and honestly it’s made me want to get out on my own more often. I don’t think I’ll ever be fully brave enough to travel alone to a different country (thanks anxiety.. but who knows, maybe one day I will!). But for now, I’ll keep trying to explore more local places on my own 🤍
Thank you again for sharing your perspective on notes the other day Jenna. It really was a great reminder to me of that aspect of travelling or rather spending time with oneself - and yes, that can be done anywhere, any time and really in a way that works for our nervous system and anxiety.
And I also think we can dream and don't need to stress ourselves, life always evolves so who knows what the next season will look like. ❤️ Thank you for travelling with me via substack as I share my journey x
That is all so very true, thank you! For now, I will solo travel and dream simultaneously 🤍