In this day and age, female friendships have to be more intentional since we don’t always have the village base anymore. I truly appreciate my two friends who I meet with for sauna night once a month, where everything and nothing can be talked about.
I love these monthlies that you have established Rachel! I sat in the sauna with 3 mom friends a year ago, I wasn’t part of the group, just happened to be there as a stranger. I loved to see how they made time to connect in the sauna 😂 although I didn’t enjoy their gossip while I wanted to chill in the heat
Great perspective- there are no solutions-only trade offs. My wife has done a great job of finding a village of like minded parents. They have been there when it mattered most.
WOW, I loved this Carmen and Holly! What a beautiful dream team you make. I was fascinated by the deep dive into the history of female friendship and how it continues to evolve. It's interesting that in this current chapter of life, I feel deeply connected to those in my local area who are doing the same things as me everyday (i.e. the school run!) and those from all over the world that I have found here on Substack, united by a mutual love of creativity and writing. And of course I will always be so grateful to my long-lasting friendships with those I don't see or speak to everyday but will often pick up where we left off when we manage to carve out time to catch up xx
Thank you Lyndsay for starting the movement with the others this IWD 💕 it was so much fun to write and since it’s a historical piece I knew I needed to ask Holly to collab as its is rare for me to write historical stuff and do research. So endlessly grateful to Holly for agreeing to share the post in her history publication ❤️ I really want to do more collabs and guest posts this year so this felt like a wonderful opportunity to get started 🥰
I can totally see how the bond with locals in this chapter of your life is so nourishing. Not that I can speak from experience but I feel like children are this connector in relationships that we otherwise wouldn’t have. Even as a nanny / au pair I got to connect with so many others in the same shoes and it’s harder build a village only through the gym or yoga studio I find.
And to the friendships that don’t need much effort but allow us to continue where we left off… those I have too and cherish so much. They are the back bone that carry us through life in a way. Not always present but still there
It is a wonderful collaboration, it felt so natural and complementary. Yes to more collaborations and guest posts, it is such a fun and inspiring thing to do.
Yes I can absolutely imagine that a community as a nanny/au pair would be so important and you’re right, children and the experience of caring for them provides many ways of connecting, and without it the experience can feel very isolating.
And I agree the old golden friendships where nothing needs to be explained are to be forever treasured xx
Thanks so much for reading! It was really fun to write as I love history so much 🥰 part 2 will hopefully come out as planned, just haven’t finished writing it yet 🫣
Awww thank you for being here Fabienne and for reading! I hope you’re able to build your village up in the north of Denmark while making the best of all our wonderful online tools we have to stay in touch with everyone else!
Fabienne. To a great extent I agree with the causes of female friendships both currently and historically. However, far from feeling lonely in today’s tech oriented society I find myself becoming personally more reclusive. I have internet friends and lots of interesting literary, historical and knowledge based articles online and TBH it’s not that easy to find the time to actually socialise in person. It’s a good job I have my dog as she is my social Ambassadeur and ensures that I speak to friends and friendly acquaintances at least three times a day for fairly lengthy periods. Apart from that I do have dear friends of long standing with whom I socialise plus an enormous extended family with whom I am in constant contact. Looking at my post I can quite see why I’m not lonely! Not only do I not have sufficient time to socialise in person as much as I feel that I should, I don’t have the time to be lonely either.
Thank you for being here and leaving such a thoughtful comment Yvonne! Dogs are always the best to meet new people aren’t they? I see what you mean that there’s no time to be lonely but also it’s taking a lot of effort to actually socialise in person in our day and age. So wonderful to hear you have a strong network and living people around you :) hope you’ll enjoy part 2 as well that will hopefully come out around mid March
This is such a beautiful piece with a perspective that I had not even thought about before. I feel like I have more friends that truly understand me and see me for my true self now… but most of them are online and not close by so it can still feel quite lonely at times. And the busyness of life and varying phases mean that even the ones close by are so often busy so actually being in person together is hard. It often makes me just retreat because it’s easier this way. But so fascinating to consider the way women’s friendships have evolved xxx
In this day and age, female friendships have to be more intentional since we don’t always have the village base anymore. I truly appreciate my two friends who I meet with for sauna night once a month, where everything and nothing can be talked about.
Our whole patterns of life have changed, haven’t they? So intentionality is key. Your monthly friend nights sound delightful!
I love these monthlies that you have established Rachel! I sat in the sauna with 3 mom friends a year ago, I wasn’t part of the group, just happened to be there as a stranger. I loved to see how they made time to connect in the sauna 😂 although I didn’t enjoy their gossip while I wanted to chill in the heat
Great perspective- there are no solutions-only trade offs. My wife has done a great job of finding a village of like minded parents. They have been there when it mattered most.
That’s wonderful to hear! Raising kids is so much easier when you have a village to lean on.
WOW, I loved this Carmen and Holly! What a beautiful dream team you make. I was fascinated by the deep dive into the history of female friendship and how it continues to evolve. It's interesting that in this current chapter of life, I feel deeply connected to those in my local area who are doing the same things as me everyday (i.e. the school run!) and those from all over the world that I have found here on Substack, united by a mutual love of creativity and writing. And of course I will always be so grateful to my long-lasting friendships with those I don't see or speak to everyday but will often pick up where we left off when we manage to carve out time to catch up xx
Thank you Lyndsay for starting the movement with the others this IWD 💕 it was so much fun to write and since it’s a historical piece I knew I needed to ask Holly to collab as its is rare for me to write historical stuff and do research. So endlessly grateful to Holly for agreeing to share the post in her history publication ❤️ I really want to do more collabs and guest posts this year so this felt like a wonderful opportunity to get started 🥰
I can totally see how the bond with locals in this chapter of your life is so nourishing. Not that I can speak from experience but I feel like children are this connector in relationships that we otherwise wouldn’t have. Even as a nanny / au pair I got to connect with so many others in the same shoes and it’s harder build a village only through the gym or yoga studio I find.
And to the friendships that don’t need much effort but allow us to continue where we left off… those I have too and cherish so much. They are the back bone that carry us through life in a way. Not always present but still there
It is a wonderful collaboration, it felt so natural and complementary. Yes to more collaborations and guest posts, it is such a fun and inspiring thing to do.
Yes I can absolutely imagine that a community as a nanny/au pair would be so important and you’re right, children and the experience of caring for them provides many ways of connecting, and without it the experience can feel very isolating.
And I agree the old golden friendships where nothing needs to be explained are to be forever treasured xx
Fascinating read! This gave me a lot of food for thought today. I can't wait to read part 2.
Thanks so much for reading! It was really fun to write as I love history so much 🥰 part 2 will hopefully come out as planned, just haven’t finished writing it yet 🫣
I absolutely love this perspective. Thanks for taking us through the history of a very unique and ever evolving bond 🥰
I kind of like the direction.
It’s hopeful. And re-rooting yet novel feminine.
Awww thank you for being here Fabienne and for reading! I hope you’re able to build your village up in the north of Denmark while making the best of all our wonderful online tools we have to stay in touch with everyone else!
Fabienne. To a great extent I agree with the causes of female friendships both currently and historically. However, far from feeling lonely in today’s tech oriented society I find myself becoming personally more reclusive. I have internet friends and lots of interesting literary, historical and knowledge based articles online and TBH it’s not that easy to find the time to actually socialise in person. It’s a good job I have my dog as she is my social Ambassadeur and ensures that I speak to friends and friendly acquaintances at least three times a day for fairly lengthy periods. Apart from that I do have dear friends of long standing with whom I socialise plus an enormous extended family with whom I am in constant contact. Looking at my post I can quite see why I’m not lonely! Not only do I not have sufficient time to socialise in person as much as I feel that I should, I don’t have the time to be lonely either.
Thank you for being here and leaving such a thoughtful comment Yvonne! Dogs are always the best to meet new people aren’t they? I see what you mean that there’s no time to be lonely but also it’s taking a lot of effort to actually socialise in person in our day and age. So wonderful to hear you have a strong network and living people around you :) hope you’ll enjoy part 2 as well that will hopefully come out around mid March
Thank you Carmen. I look forward to part 2. Xx
This is such a beautiful piece with a perspective that I had not even thought about before. I feel like I have more friends that truly understand me and see me for my true self now… but most of them are online and not close by so it can still feel quite lonely at times. And the busyness of life and varying phases mean that even the ones close by are so often busy so actually being in person together is hard. It often makes me just retreat because it’s easier this way. But so fascinating to consider the way women’s friendships have evolved xxx