The longer we wait, the more difficult it gets...

Let's untangle what's held us back. I waited far too long for this.

Do you know the feeling when you need to make a decision or do something important, and your mind presents you with a million options, all of which sound totally plausible? So you subconsciously conclude that avoidance buys you time. Time for what? For more overthinking, hesitation, for tossing and turning at night or pondering over THE thing during a walk instead of enjoying the scenery.

Sometimes we just need to jump into the cold water, quite literally. We all know that the slower we get in, the longer we let those tiny waves splash against our thighs and belly and the colder the water subsequently feels. (I went swimming in Italy earlier in April, I can tell you, it felt cold but when I finally decided to jump, it wasn’t so bad after all….)

First week of April, in Apulia, Italy 🇮🇹

Before we continue, a quick update… I haven’t written to you in three weeks.
Maybe you didn’t notice, maybe you did. And maybe you read one of my two latest posts on why less is always more - things I quit to reignite joy in my life and why I think we’ve been sold a wrong concept of rest and were one of the almost 100 new subscribers. Since it’s been a few weeks, welcome (back), hello, hi! 🫶 You can read more about me here. However, I’ve been avoiding to write an update post about myself, my writing and what’s in it for you. Why? Because I felt like things will change and I’m not quite sure where I’m headed with this publication / newsletter / blog.

SO WHAT?

Can you see the pattern, the silly reasoning, connecting two totally unrelated things?

I wrote at least 3 posts in these weeks and ended up disliking all, just like

Caroline

who shared about hating one of hers and hence skipping a week. I waited so long, that in the end, none felt “right” anymore. I had come up with a million reasons for not sharing the pieces. My mind clearly used creativity in the most unhelpful way.

The three weeks of not sharing a longer piece and needing to make lots of decisions in my private life helped me realise one thing:

The longer we stand still, the more difficult it gets to start moving again.

Our muscles become stiff. Like walking after an extended bed rest, returning to work after a longer holiday or leave, or writing again after writer’s block. (or returning to a language you once were fluent in…the pain is real.)

Let’s look more closely, without shame and blame.

If you’d like to reflect alongside me:

What have you been avoiding lately? What have you been postponing with the hopes that the decision, task, or thing you wanted to do would just evaporate like summer rain on warm concrete? I can’t wait for these summer days to return… Are you seeing winter stagnation in your mind that wants to be moved just like dry brushing helps the lymphatic system get moving again?

This piece is a bit like spring cleaning for the body, heart and mind.

We don’t want this winter stagnation to drag on too long because we hold ourselves back by waiting and playing with the comfortable space we’ve been given like with fire. It will hurt eventually.

Sometimes we need to jump into the cold water headfirst, be bold, brave, and curious, and trust that we don’t need to have every step figured out (only that the water is deep enough so we won’t hurt our head).

Further adding to the image of water; we desperately balance on the slippery rocks just to avoid the cold water for a few more seconds — again, our brain connects unrelated points falsely. The water temperature won’t change by waiting longer, and it might be a safer idea to get in quicker when considering what could happen if we slipped...

It becomes clear that:

• Standing still and thinking too much will only fuel further doubt and fear.

• Taking action, on the other hand, builds confidence and courage.

• Move in any direction - even if that means only shifting what’s in our head and heart.

With this, I’m not saying there is no space for pausing and resting, don’t worry. I love talking about rest and recovery. My point is that the silly stories we tell ourselves should be questioned so we can get unstuck again to decide, create, move and flourish.

"The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance." - Alan Watts

If you need an accountability buddy to get unstuck;

let this post serve as your place to get inspired, share and return to when you need a holding hand.

When we get started again, even without a clear plan, joy and creativity often return. We get a dopamine boost along the way and can finally pick one of the very similarly looking colour shades for the bathroom renovation or decide which accommodation to book for the next holiday. Yes, it could all backfire, and we may need to repaint or realize the hotel has bed bugs.

In the grand scheme of things;

• Waiting longer doesn’t make us wiser.

• We will only be more knowledgeable afterwards.

• Thinking about all the what-ifs and shoulds isn’t helping us. At all.

Can we make it fun and fast, like ping pong - making decisions or doing things we've always wanted to do - now?

Right now. Without further contemplation.

(in the spirit of joy, I sent postcards to my most active readers….the first one arrived 😍)

What I personally did to get moving again

1. Showing up & facing discomfort

Recently, I gathered the courage to record a voice-over for one of my previously published posts. I purposefully shared the unedited first version, complete with stumbles. I knew could have done better. But the whole point for me was to get it out, not label it, honour my emotions and move on.

We don’t always need to have an explanation for or opinion on everything.

Just do it.

And move on.

2. Imposter Syndrome held me back until I decided to get out there

As an extroverted introvert, I’m great at networking but have a social hangover afterwards (and it turns out, I’m not alone). It took some self-pep talk for me to show up at Munich’s first

Substack Writers

’s gathering (the platform I host my publication on) initially doubting the value of my small publication and my invitation.

Contrary to my assumptions, most attendees were new to the concept of Substack. I may be a no-name compared to these journalists, podcasters and people with audiences on other platforms, but in the case of Substack, I’m a few steps ahead. This allowed me to answer questions and persuade some to join and get started here.

Substack

you should hire me 😂

It was great fun and gave me a confidence boost to attend networking events more regularly again. Having a conversation with

Farrah @Substack

and

Andreas Laux

the Head of Writer Partnerships about my love for the community here was a highlight, as was meeting

the weekly {B}LA

with similar passions. 🫶

No matter what we may have avoided…. let’s move forward!

I keep returning to the idea that 30 years from now, whatever seems big now, will likely be so small, so meaningless in the grand scheme of achievements, tasks and worries that we can laugh and celebrate how far we’ve come.

For example, remember the first time you were nervous about standing in front of your class reciting a poem, the first job interview you failed or the newsletter you sent that no one read? Everything felt so big, scary and maybe even impossible to ever change. Look how far you’ve come! 💛

I’m not saying to do crazy or dangerous things.

I am not saying you should overrun your fears.

I simply invite you to ask questions, to delve deeper, and to avoid overthinking. Life is full of learning - it's not about making right or wrong decisions. Also, who defines what's right or wrong in the first place?

If you feel significant resistance, perhaps a simple 'no' is the answer. Easy as pie. Can you say no, decline, and move on? Equally important to saying yes and moving forward.

"Life is inherently risky. There is only one big risk you should avoid at all costs, and that is the risk of doing nothing." - Denis Waitley

I came across

Patrick Muindi

’s note after scheduling this post so I returned to add it.

Thank you for reading! Take care and see you soon. If you enjoyed reading, please consider sharing and giving it some ❤️ so we can reach more people together.

P.S. if you’re still with me…I wanted to share more photos and reflections from Italy and other destinations. I feared that you might not even be interested in the mindful travel series I would sprinkle in sporadically.
I may just be brave and do it either way - but I’d love your thoughts nonetheless.

Lastly, this post was written as part of

Claire Venus

’s Essay Club, the best accountability initiative encouraging overthinking writers like me to write more. 💛