On creative ways of living that improved my mental health and made daily chores enjoyable

On decision fatigue, my 10 practical practices and a promise that this is not the typical quick fix list just an intimate glimpse into my life. 🫶

My younger brother thinks I’m a bit weird but I tell myself that this is common among siblings. He finds some things I do too grow up… As a 30+ year old I indeed try to enjoy life and not kill my house plants, flourish and do the dishes every day, have fun and hang my laundry within hours of washing. I make sure I don’t have to make constant decisions and have systems in place that support me. Why? Decision fatigue is a common reality. Parents, caregivers, multi-job holders, and those facing health challenges likely know what I’m talking about - are you one of them? It’s a reality that I've navigated through in various forms in my 20s being an expat, student, entrepreneur, mentor supportive partner, sister, daughter and friend all while building a career in tech.

This post is written in the hopes my brother will for once read my letter and with the aim that YOU will enjoy it too. 😂 Disclaimer this letter is not a “do what I do and your life will be transformed in 10 days” pitch. Instead, I’m sharing simple and relatable practices from my journey, things that have transformed my day-to-day slowly, over the years, improving my mental health and bringing back joy into everyday mundane moments. It’s an intimate glimpse into my life. Nothing out of the ordinary. Stuff you might do, too.
A quick and warm welcome to the new people in this beautiful community of readers, most of whom found their way here following this post that went a bit viral for my standards. If that’s you, I look forward to getting to know you better in the comments 🫶 If you’re not yet part of this growing community of wellbeing enthusiasts, you can do so here. It’s free, fun and fruitful and all future updates will land directly in your inbox. And if you’d like to get karma points - read more about how you get them here.

Life is full

…and it can feel like tasks never end and adhering to a routine often seems like a distant dream. I also find it a huge energy investment to cook healthy meals, get my daily steps in, and do chores on time all while ensuring I have fun and not feel suffocated by navigating responsibilities and complexities. 

To be honest with you, I sometimes struggle with keeping my home in order and ensuring life admin gets done (current joy: finding the best legal insurance). But I've learned that living the feminine way, in harmony with life's natural rhythms, rather than resisting them, is key for us women. Embracing a vision, finding joy in the little things, and acknowledging our limits can guide us.

Saying "no" more often allows us to say "yes" to a life aligned with our desires, dreams, and hopes.

I don't subscribe to rigid rules. Do you?

Instead, a non-restrictive structure helps me in my current season of life to have a healthy framework allowing space for my mind and heart - my whole being - to live a joyful life I truly love.
This has eased the heavy resistance towards mundane tasks (and no, I won’t ever truly love reading through insurance contracts but the overarching vision and some practical steps around it help me get it done without hating every second, myself and my family along the way).

My guiding principle, my North Star is that my home is my sanctuary shaping my overall wellbeing. So, how do I want to feel and how can I honour my needs without compromising on the foundations?

So, here are some of my favourite practices, in no particular order. Remember, take them with a grain of salt:

1. Research indicates that those who make their beds in the morning feel happier, accomplished, focused and calm all day and sleep better at night. I did hate making my bed as a child, the duvet was so heavy and large. Now I’m grateful for this part of my routine - coming back to a welcoming cosy corner in the evening is key for my mental health.

2. Closing shop - my downstairs neighbours might tell you I run back and forth like a headless chicken in the evening. I would say I tidy, bring stuff back to its place, collect half-full tea cups from around the flat, put pens, keys and tissues away and lay out underwear (or a complete outfit) for the next day. It helps my mental health to start afresh each day, massively reduces stress, and lifts my mood especially when the kitchen is clean and I don’t have to decide what to wear because I took care of it all the night before.

3. Covering my monitor - I don’t want my screens to shout at me when I don’t actively engage with them. So I cover them. I feel like it makes a big difference as I sleep in the same room I work from. We don’t own a TV.

4. Rainy Day fund - financial bolster - after years of depth and student days of counting every penny and living on 5 £ food per day or walking because I don’t want to spend money on public transport- I put money aside every month to feel financially safe. This is not with a negative outlook on life but gives us the freedom and deep breaths we want. Putting aside anything from 10 £ / month to 20% or more of our income - whatever is doable consistently. 

5. Morning sunshine and nighttime star/moon gazing - telling my brain what follows next, also aiding circadian rhythm calming my nervous system and connecting to seasons. Most obviously though, I love the fresh air in the morning and at night (even when I only stick out my head from my bedroom window like the person in the image below).

6. Restricting screen time for myself. Being the annoying parent for my tired brain that could read, listen or watch stuff forever when I have no decision-making power anymore.

7. Owning my health. I’m the weird one typing notes at doctors’ appointments, asking questions, challenging and reading into things afterwards (and before to prep and even have arguments ready). I own my health, I make informed choices and I don’t believe in fixing symptoms but going to the root cause. 

8. Food prepping. I aim for my fridge to be full ensuring I eat for my nutritional requirements. For me, food is nourishment, not a way to stop “inconvenient” hunger cues. My absolute staples are a big tray of oven-roasted root vegetables for the week and bone broth (the latter helped me reverse most of my food sensitivities over the last 3 years thanks to the gut-healing benefits and also serves as a quick, warm protein-rich drink).

9. When I know an action requires a part 2, I put something in the middle of my way so I won’t forget or avoid it.
   I take out the laundry rack to hang the clothes so I won’t forget the clothes in the machine all day, I put scissors out in the evening so I am reminded to cut the tulips and change their water in the morning and place my journal and pen on my bed (after making it) so I need to remove them before sleeping and am more likely to reflect. Writing is my medicine but it doesn’t always come naturally. When I know the next morning may allow for a quick wiggle on the mat, I roll out my yoga mat the night before (yes sometimes I walk over it the next day and swear at it for shouting in my face I should use it).

10. Capsule wardrobe (whatever size and seasonal preference exists). Only wearing what I truly love - no guilt, anger or self-hate. And if it’s a maybe, I pack things away to revisit a few months later. I now know what pieces I have at home, what new ones I need for the next season, travel, or a special occasion and what can be combined easily. 

What I wish I did, and just can’t get my brain around doing:

• Check whether my AirPods are in their case before I leave the house.
  Imagine you sit on a train, and full of excitement you search for the Airpods in your bag, just to realise they are still at home, somewhere, hopefully…

• Check the weather app before making outfit choices, and cycling to work. I’m hopeless even after having lived in the UK for 5 years a few years ago. I may or may not have tried to dry my top with the hand dryer before a professional photo shoot once (don’t recommend!).

The most important aspect is to learn when to stick to structures, routines, rituals or habit because they serve us well and when to ditch it all for the sake of freedom, flexibility and flow of life’s opportunities. ❤️

Martin Luther King Jr. said it beautifully:

"The time is always right to do what is right." 

Do you have similar habits, routines or rituals? Or perhaps I listed practices that wouldn't work for your life right now?

Dear parents, please don’t tell me that I’ll have to throw this list out the window as soon as I have little ones at home. Haha. Let me dream a bit longer, please. 🫶 But do tell me what makes your life easier and joyful and helps your mental health, I admire you, the sleep-deprived parents and everyone juggling multiple responsibilities.

I’m curious let’s exchange practical practices that spark joy in the comments.

Solo trip to Lisbon in November 2021. Loud music coming from their kitchen while this old person was casually scrolling on their phone. The scene was too good not to photograph.

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